So… this week’s quarterly round of employee stress surveys from wellnessbot is, uh, weirding me the fuck out. Jeremy the LAN guy says ever since the 11g upgrade wb has been burning up a lot of extra CPU usage and yet this 60-grit sandpaper condom is the latest output. Not exactly gonna make Turing roll…
If you somehow missed it JJ Abrams is selling tickets to win a chance to spend 6 hours in a chair getting a foam alien face glued on and shoved into a crowd shot to bake in the Tatooine sun while Abrams plays the bongos on the cameraman to get the shakey cam effects just…
Screw this Oracle upgrade. If I wanted to be dry-fucked in the ass I’d finally accept Jeremy the LAN guy’s invitation to watch Animal Planet on his couch and let him roofie me into the land of anal fissures. I would more enjoy waking up facedown in his home-made, crotchless, ewok costume while Jerry shouts…
Assholes are like a nerd’s complaint about why we haven’t gone to Mars yet: everybody’s got one. The trailer for Chris Nolan’s Interstellar is balls-out blatant about it: this planet is shitcanned, you want to save humanity, get your cool-ass spaceship to a new planet. I like a good metaphor for class struggle as much…
There’s a nerd war going on. You sense it in the air, right after you wade through the sea of Attack on Titan cosplayers clogging up the place like some sort of weird Hitler Youth in their identical uniforms. And it’s not a war of ‘cosplay is not consent’ either. It’s a battle to the…
Hey kids, ol manglecramps is limping along under his own power these days. Turns out when you spend two weeks at a time working in a converted fallout shelter your kids cry when you come home and your wife starts an OK Cupid profile. But that’s fine. It’s all for national security, right? So we’re…
SPOILER ALERT: False Positive 