If you somehow missed it JJ Abrams is selling tickets to win a chance to spend 6 hours in a chair getting a foam alien face glued on and shoved into a crowd shot to bake in the Tatooine sun while Abrams plays the bongos on the cameraman to get the shakey cam effects just…
Prepare your anus for total penetration by biceps, overacting and the spike-encrusted dong that is Stephen King’s terrible, terrible storytelling. That’s right butt-monkeys, its time to revisit Running Man, now available to stream on Netflix. Running Man was so terrible even at the time of original release that I hadn’t bothered to rent it out…
In 2016 there will be a cyborg Olympics. No greater sentence has ever been uttered in the English language. My 12 year old self just got a huge erection and pleasured himself to the gynoid engineer from Spacehunter: Adventures in the Forbidden Zone. From the website: The Cybathlon is a championship for racing pilots with…
Since I first met her, my ex, the crazybananaspants hippy, has held this, um nostalgia-induced hallucination that she’s good at carrying through on things. And as long as I’ve known her she has steadfastly maintained how awesome it would be to drop out and live off the land in some sort of quasi-peasant serfdom where…
My ex is, um, how you say? Crazybananapants. And has parlayed a lifelong ability to deny the truth into a decent sideline as a religious nutbar. Her constant ability to pretend invisible fairies make everything in her world work only ever serves to infuriate me. Hint: it’s not fairies paying your bills, it’s my support…
I always loved empty places when I was a kid. Specifically places that were designed for hundreds of people to be but when you caught them at the right time they were empty. Like being on the university campus on a holiday. Or breaking into the underground storage rooms at the local mall on a…
SPOILER ALERT: False Positive 